Wednesday, 12 January 2011

The Night Before (Hopefully!)

After checking on the whereabouts of my parcel it's now reporting 'in progress'!
So here's hoping it will be here in the morning!
I can't go on like this. I did something today that I promised myself I would never do, I had to pawn my keyboard for gear money!

Gutted! I feel like I've sold my soul. My piano is my solace. It chills me put when I'm feeling depressed and has been my main creative outlet and best friend since I was sexually abused as a child.

I've sold/pawned all my other music equipment over the years for drugs. Guitars/midi keyboards and controllers. Mica/Amps/fx pedals etc etc.

But as my ibo didn't arrive today I had to get through another day without getting sick. And sadly that meant doing the above.

If it arrives tomorrow I can take it instead of my usual morning hit!
That's what I want to happen anyway.

I'm not nervous about taking it. This is the third time after all!

Like I mentioned I'm having to blog from my phone as lappy is broke :( so I'm struggling to update as much as I'd like.
So, my apologies!....

Till tomorrow....



jim said...

i wish i had a partner to stay clean for. 12 steppers say ya gotta want to do it for yourself. i've been wanting that a long time. but, anyways, i'd like to know more about how ibo works for you. never heard of it. don't know if its avail in n.y. hope it works out for you. i'm following you on twitter.

Sid said...

There's quite a few underground providers in the U.S man.

Yeah. I been trying to get clean for 13 years now. Ibo seems to be the least painful way.

Good luck man

BMelonsLemonade said...

Sometimes, I think about all the things I pawned for drugs. My cameras. I am an avid photographer. My engagement ring, which was a gorgeous family heirloom, and worth over 10,000 dollars. I got 300 bucks for it, and I stayed high for a couple of days, at best. Lost two cars over drugs. Got kicked out of numerous homes. Lost all the contents of my storage shed on three different occasions. Still have thousands of dollars of debt. On a positive note...I have been clean for almost five years, and I am finally regaining many things I lost, both inside and out. I have a car, my own apartment, and I just bought a Macbook. Keep at it, man.