Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Day Six - Post Ibogaine

Thought I'd better write up how it's going.. they say recovery after an ibogaine flood dose is like recovering from a general anaesthetic.
Well, I can tell you... it is...!
Most people say it takes two weeks to feel ok and two months to feel 'normal' - this  is more likely caused because of the combination with PAWS too usually....
Day six, and I feel fine, had a flat day yesterday, was really craving gear! Thing is, like any habit, if you have done something every day for so many years when you try to stop you have to deal with the body/brain still thinking it needs that fix...
I slept a pretty solid eight hours last night! Its really exhausting recovering after ibo, it's a stimulant so you literally cant sleep for days after. The first couple of days it's all you can do to lay in bed, pissing in a bucket!
It re-sets nicotine receptors too, so every time I take it, I stop smoking, haven't for a week nearly now, probably for the best really as I have chronic asthma and have had to take steroids and inhalers for years.
(which I haven't used since the Ibo too)
Physically the only things I'm struggling with is restless legs, and slight flashes of goosebumps, but no sweats or cramps... Diorreah, but that's normal after Ibo, after all, detoxing from a constipating opiate is going to cause that.
Hot baths every six hours is the only thing that helps with the RLS, well that and ibogaine root bark in small doses..
When I woke up this morning, like when I was using, you have that 30 seconds to a few minutes where your half awake where your not thinking of gear, or being sick, it's when you remember that the sickness kicks in...
Anyway, this morning, the same happened, and for a moment I started to feel ill, my eyes started watering and I was yawning, then I realised I wasn't sick.... just psycho-somatic
Honestly, that felt amazing, knowing that I didn't have to score, or take methadone.. It's definitely one of the things that makes getting clean 'worth it'
It's weird having great big pupils too! Getting used to sunlight without tiny dilated pupils hurts!
I worked out how much I've spent over the years on heroin, at an average of £20 a day, 14 years, £153,000!!!!
I coulda bought a fuckin house!
I spent more than that most days too, paying £30 on a g

I think if someone put a needle of heroin in front of me I'd probably still take it, I'm not that strong yet, but I remember the last time I cleaned up I couldn't even look at a 'heroin story' on the news, seeing people cook up/inject would bring back such strong cravings..

Once you've experienced heroin, it is hard to go back, it's too nice.. Living in a nice warm cocoon 24/7 is nice.. end of... it's the damage you do to yourself that's the problem, especially as an injector, I literally have NO veins left.. groin, neck...my only options the last  year or so... my arms and hands are covered in scars that will never leave me..
That's the shit side... and I have to keep reminding myself of it, unfortunately, like most things with humans we look back with rose tinted specs, well I do anyway, and I only remember the good bits... well bit.. the rush after you inject!

7 comments:

BMelonsLemonade said...

I used to shoot up in my neck, too. So many people think it is bottom of the barrel, but I always thought it gave me a better rush...maybe that was just my own justification.

Once in treatment, I was asked to try to figure out how much money I had spent on drugs and alcohol in my entire "career." Now, in the last three years of using, I spent almost 200 bucks a day on dope. When I sat down and calculated a conservative effort of what I had spent...it came out to be almost half a million dollars. (That did include ALL drugs and alcohol.) I could have bought five or six houses!!!! Makes me sick sometimes....

Gledwood said...

i couldn't get a weighed g for £30 in the last 3 years, just point sevens or eights to be frank i think some were truly abysmal but then i have pessimist's eyes i always knock a point off what someone else thinks it is

are you ok now

the link you asked for is here

http://gledwood2.blogspot.com

but you came out of that delirium, right?

i'm only saying this because... well because... but don't you have to be a little bit careful living with coeliac and using something that gives you the raving shits? i'm not meaning to be personal more rhetorical.

o shit my brain is all over the fucking place i got into an "i'm going to na and someone is giving me a lift there" i know why. so i can't get out of it

fucking na

nearly went nuts in there last night. fucking peace and quiet and people being meditative and not saying anything for FIVE MINUTES when i could at least have got some entertaining crack story to distract me

fucking drugs fuck this fuck that fuck the fucking world

has the craving gone surely it goes

from what your'e saying i don't think iboga is for me at all i cannot tolerate any withdrawal, i can when i don't know it's happening but i can't handle the hyperactivity and depression aspect of clucking it sends me off on one too much

i have to go down some fucking shit arse laundrette with a bastard shithead who looks at me like i'm on drugs because i was then but am NOT NOW i wish people would DO ONE know what i mean??

sorry to be so self ranting i thought i might at least entertain you with something else except your own predicament i know how shitty it is coming off drugs on off or sideways anyways it's all shit

Anonymous said...

Yes, but you are doing it! Coming off is shit because it is stuck in your body, so ingrained, of course, you are very courageous- keep at it and tells us more about ibogaine. what do you think of ibogaineclinic.com?
set the record straight as you know!!

Sid said...

Gleds, It's known as an 'addiction interuptor' You do still crave to a certain extent and have PAWS etc... Not much you can do about it, this is the best treatment ive found throughtout all my different detoxes.

Anon... Thanks!

Sid said...

@BmelonsLemonade

Half a million bucks! Doesnt it make you sick!

Yeah mine is quite a conservative estimate and doesnt include booze/party drugs for years before.. I started at 13 taking speed and weed...

subdon2khotmail.com said...

check out high dose vitamin c for paws. research has been done by dr bob who actually uses it for full withdrawals with quite a high success rate so it should definitely help for paws and maybe cravings. it supposidly has a blocking effect for opiates too. i think vitamin c makes you create your own endorphines. il be doing a second ibogaine detox in jan or feb 12. last ibo detox got rid of some withdrawals but not enough for a sixty ml meth habit. afterwards i plan to do boosters and vit c. if you have any joy with the vit c let me know. my email is subdon2k@hotmail.com. dr bob recommends 3O to fifty gram vit c a day

brice dobsoc said...

After 7 days after ibogaine treatment my restless legs kicked in . Not sure why it was gone for a week then came on strong. It was so bad I relapsed. Was always my hardest symptom during regular withdrawal . Is this temporary? Any ideas how to lesson it. Getting very little sleep bc of the rls