Day Six - Post Ibogaine

Thought I'd better write up how it's going.. they say recovery after an ibogaine flood dose is like recovering from a general anaesthetic.
Well, I can tell you... it is...!
Most people say it takes two weeks to feel ok and two months to feel 'normal' - this  is more likely caused because of the combination with PAWS too usually....
Day six, and I feel fine, had a flat day yesterday, was really craving gear! Thing is, like any habit, if you have done something every day for so many years when you try to stop you have to deal with the body/brain still thinking it needs that fix...
I slept a pretty solid eight hours last night! Its really exhausting recovering after ibo, it's a stimulant so you literally cant sleep for days after. The first couple of days it's all you can do to lay in bed, pissing in a bucket!
It re-sets nicotine receptors too, so every time I take it, I stop smoking, haven't for a week nearly now, probably for the best really as I have chronic asthma and have had to take steroids and inhalers for years.
(which I haven't used since the Ibo too)
Physically the only things I'm struggling with is restless legs, and slight flashes of goosebumps, but no sweats or cramps... Diorreah, but that's normal after Ibo, after all, detoxing from a constipating opiate is going to cause that.
Hot baths every six hours is the only thing that helps with the RLS, well that and ibogaine root bark in small doses..
When I woke up this morning, like when I was using, you have that 30 seconds to a few minutes where your half awake where your not thinking of gear, or being sick, it's when you remember that the sickness kicks in...
Anyway, this morning, the same happened, and for a moment I started to feel ill, my eyes started watering and I was yawning, then I realised I wasn't sick.... just psycho-somatic
Honestly, that felt amazing, knowing that I didn't have to score, or take methadone.. It's definitely one of the things that makes getting clean 'worth it'
It's weird having great big pupils too! Getting used to sunlight without tiny dilated pupils hurts!
I worked out how much I've spent over the years on heroin, at an average of £20 a day, 14 years, £153,000!!!!
I coulda bought a fuckin house!
I spent more than that most days too, paying £30 on a g

I think if someone put a needle of heroin in front of me I'd probably still take it, I'm not that strong yet, but I remember the last time I cleaned up I couldn't even look at a 'heroin story' on the news, seeing people cook up/inject would bring back such strong cravings..

Once you've experienced heroin, it is hard to go back, it's too nice.. Living in a nice warm cocoon 24/7 is nice.. end of... it's the damage you do to yourself that's the problem, especially as an injector, I literally have NO veins left.. groin, neck...my only options the last  year or so... my arms and hands are covered in scars that will never leave me..
That's the shit side... and I have to keep reminding myself of it, unfortunately, like most things with humans we look back with rose tinted specs, well I do anyway, and I only remember the good bits... well bit.. the rush after you inject!

Day 4! Again...

Well I did it!

No PAWS this time. I'm so happy..

Hardly even craving. Will write it all up soon.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

How it arrives

It's Here

I can't post pics as I'm on my phone. Well I'm gonna try using the email post option...

Got to get through the day without using so partner is here when I take it (to make sure I don't die or choke on my own vomit) :)

Got some root bark I can take if I start to feel really crappy. Which I'll total into the mg/kg so don't OD myself.

I wont be able to report hourly like Gleds suggested as you become ataxic and phobic to bright light. So won't be able to stare at bright screen. I'll report after though.

Till next time iboganaughts

The Night Before (Hopefully!)

After checking on the whereabouts of my parcel it's now reporting 'in progress'!
So here's hoping it will be here in the morning!
I can't go on like this. I did something today that I promised myself I would never do, I had to pawn my keyboard for gear money!

Gutted! I feel like I've sold my soul. My piano is my solace. It chills me put when I'm feeling depressed and has been my main creative outlet and best friend since I was sexually abused as a child.

I've sold/pawned all my other music equipment over the years for drugs. Guitars/midi keyboards and controllers. Mica/Amps/fx pedals etc etc.

But as my ibo didn't arrive today I had to get through another day without getting sick. And sadly that meant doing the above.

If it arrives tomorrow I can take it instead of my usual morning hit!
That's what I want to happen anyway.

I'm not nervous about taking it. This is the third time after all!

Like I mentioned I'm having to blog from my phone as lappy is broke :( so I'm struggling to update as much as I'd like.
So, my apologies!....

Till tomorrow....

S

Three Day Count Down

As soon as this turns up I'll be ready to take it... I ve got one gram if ibo HCL and one gram of TA, PLUS i got 75 capsules of 300mg root bark capsules for the PAWS afterwards, so with a bit of luck I should have enough to see me through the flood (1g of each)~ and then got the caps for after....


So In total, this has cost me a total of over £1000 altogether which is all relative when you compare it to buying gear!

I've started to cut down my gear use in ready-ness for the detox...

between 0.4 and 0.2 a day, mainly due to the drought, obviously meant to be!

Not sure when ill be able to update again as in borrowing other people computers and using my iphone tp update at the moment!

Wish me luck anyway!

S