Tapering With MST - Morphine Sulphate Continus

So this is my latest attempt at detox and abstinence..

Surprisingly my psychiatrist has agreed to prescribe me MST,
in it's slow release form its supposed to last 12 hours so I dose twice a day.
It has a half life somewhere between heroin and methadone.

Were currently trying to find a dose I'm comfortable on.
At the moment I'm taking 120mg twice a day, it's difficult to work out equivalences with other opiates due to differing half lives but it's around the same as 30-40mg methadone.

Once stable I'll start to reduce. At a rate I'm comfortable with. No point rushing it or I'll just end up going backwards. Maybe 10mg a week but I'll see how it goes.

The plan at the end of the taper is to swap to naltrexone.
Starting a full opioid antagonist like naltrexone is notoriously difficult.

If started too early it can cause precipitated withdrawal as it nocks out any opiates left on the receptors.
Swapping from mst which has quite a long half life means I will have to go a few days in-between the two drugs.

EDIT:   After consulting with the stapleford clinic, apparently its ok to start naltrexlone on day 6 after stopping MST (Max 25mg) Five completely clean days in-between are essential.
Apparently a receptor flooding/blocking dose is around a 20th of a tablet, so it's advised just to take the lot... Iv'e also had people advise to nibble a couple of grains though the first time to challenge any remaining opiates. I'll probably stick to that plan...

I'll Document everything anyway. In the hopes it may help someone else going through a similar thing. I also want to show that morphine has a place in treating addiction in the NHS.
Currently it's something that you can only really get privately.
Luckily I have a psychiatrist with an open mind!

This Blog...

Needs a new name I think!

Initially I wanted to write about using Ibogaine to stop my cycle of addiction to heroin, but I now seem to be documenting my battle with my addiction and my various attempts at getting clean, and maintaining abstinence...

As such, I want to write a bit about a previous attempt at detox, I got clean around 2006 using methadone. And as this seems to be the only option available to most people I want to say it can be done! 

At the end of the day it comes down to willpower and determination, and unfortunately these are two things that can-not be forced.

So, here is the story of how I got clean (and stayed clean for two years) using methadone and subutex.

By the age of twenty six, I had been using heroin for nearly ten years. I was at this point, homeless and begging on the streets for cash every day to support my habit. 

I befriended an American girl and we used to work together as two people is better than one when it comes to begging.

I guess we hung around together for about a year.. We would wake up, have our morning hit and go begging, get £40 together, which would take a few hours, then go and score, have a hit and go back out do the same again for the evening money. Out of this we would make sure we either saved enough gear for our morning hit (the most important one of the day) or have enough cash left over to score in the morning..

This went on, day in, day out for what seemed like forever, it's soul destroying, everything would revolve around using heroin, and getting the cash to buy it.

It got to the stage where I was so sick of it I decided to go to my GP and get a methadone script and clean up.

I guess the old cliche of having to hit rock bottom is true, as it took me getting to the stage of having nothing to actually want to clean up.

I offered to share my script with her if she wanted to clean up too but she wasn't ready, we ended up having a screaming row and we parted ways.

I literally stopped using that day, and I didn't touch heroin again for three and a half years.

I went through a period of being ill while we found a dose of methadone I was stable on, 120mls I believe.

Within a month I started to reduce my dose, and believe me I felt every drop, Id drop 1ml and wouldn't sleep well for a few days, once I felt OK again I'd drop another 1ml, hence why it took eighteen months to get off the stuff.

I also had to split dose as it never held me for the full 24 hours. This was fine when I was on high doses, eg on 60mls I'd have 30mls when I woke up, and 30mls around 6pm.

When I got down to 10mls I hit 'the brick wall' people talk of, when it's difficult to get any lower, plus having to split dose, 5ml and 5ml twice a day it was getting harder and harder to measure it.

I talked to my GP and we decided to swap me onto Subutex for the last bit of the taper. 

The swap was difficult, because of methadone long half life you have to wait a minimum of 24 hours after the last dose of methadone before starting Subutex or you can go into precipitated acute withdrawals due to Subutex being a partial opiate antagonist.

Subutex (Temgesic/Buprenorphine) Is a strange semi-synthetic opiate agonist/partial antagonist.

It fills the opiate receptors and also blocks them (at sufficient doses) so any other opiates can-not get in.

I stabilised on Subutex after about a week, I ended up on a dose a lot higher than I thought I would need (16mg) and soon after started to taper.

It's a lot easier to taper on subs, once I was down to 2mg you can cut the tablet with a razor, I think I got down to a quarter of a 2mg tab...

When it came to stopping altogether, I was so anxious about going into withdrawals, but I didn't!

I was FINE!

I didn't suffer PAWS, the only problem I had was with depression, I'm prone to depression anyway, that's why I started taking heroin in the first place!

I researched anti-depressants that help after long term opiate use and I started taking Venlaflaxine (Effexor)

It definitely helped, it stopped me feeling suicidal at least!

So... here I am again, well, I'm not on methadone this time, after the hellish 18 months it took to get off it last time I will never touch it again hence the MST.

But I wanted to give people on long term methadone maintenance that there is hope, it is possible IF you have the will power and determination to do it!

Booster Day

I just took a booster dose.. well I say booster, it's more like an in between booster and flood dose.. Ive got 2000mg TA and am going to split it into 4 or 5 doses over a couple of days.

My ears are starting to buzz as I type.. and the screen is too bright. (The first symptoms you notice when you take it)

The point of all this is to top my nor-ibogaine levels.

Ibogaine converts to nor-ibogaine in the liver and it has a significantly longer half-life to Ibogaine.

A lot of people claim the majority of the 'addiction interrupting' properties are attributable to the nor-ibogaine.

It can hang around in the body for some weeks after flood dosing, which is though to help with cravings post detox.

I've also got some root bark (the raw root powder with all the different alkaloids) left over for after/PAWS

As I've been reading, it seems very important to have an aftercare plan in place after the detox

Be that counselling, yoga, acupuncture or exercise. Group therapy is particularly noted to help.

My problem is that I have no willpower to talk of, and I'm so un-disciplined! And I always have been, not just since starting on heroin.

I really need to work on myself, I need to find a vocation that I actually WANT to do, I'm 31 now and I still haven't a clue what I want to do with my life!

Don't get me wrong, I have worked the majority of my habit, doing jobs as diverse as tree surgery and body piercing, to counselling/key work, and managing bars and clubs.

I'm not aversed to working, I just want to be doing something I believe in.

My passion is music, I'm a grade eight pianist, I play guitar, drums, accordion, some strings. etc...

I would dearly Love to find a career in music but I always talk myself out of it, (self sabotage button again)

But I'm slowly realising that I need to follow my heart if I'm ever going to find any peace and fulfilment!

I need some guidance, I don't help myself, I'm lazy, I'd quite happily watch TV all day, but nothings going to fall into my lap that way..! 

I guess I just need to work out a plan and some life goals... and sharpish... I'm sick of always staying in the same place (psychologically and physically!

Long Overdue Update!

I've been crap at posing recently, all my energy is going into staying clean right now..!

Its been six weeks I think now? Every day drags, I'm still not sleeping properly, I'm consumed 24/7 thinking about heroin..
I've actually ordered some more Ibogaine, it helps with the cravings, when your on Ibo the last thing on your mind is heroin. I've been going to the obligatory NA meetings, I forgot how elitist and judgemental the people can be!

I sit in them and inevitably feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, gripped with fear, wanting to 'share' but the words won't come out.
It keeps me busy though, gives me a focus and something to do every day.

Unfortunately heroin addiction is a 'chronic relapsing disease' and is incredibly hard to get off and stay off. Although I definitely feel a difference this time to the last time I cleaned up.

Last time I was so determined, I stopped using altogether and tapered off methadone over the next two years!
I had used heroin and methadone for ten years at that point and technically I should have suffered with PAWS. I actually hadn't heard of PAWS then though so maybe that had something to do with it.

I didn't get PAWS, the only symptom I had was severe depression and I'm talking suicidal depression for nearly a year, in fact I'm amazed I didn't relapse. Ibogaine helps a hell of a lot with the depression side of things, I guess I feel flat but I'm definitely not suicidal this time round.

The physical difference this detox is huge, endless low grade withdrawal (PAWS) which really gets to you.

Unfortunately the longer you use opiates every day the more your brain adapts to it. The serotonin/noradrenaline/dopamine pathways actually end up hard wired to a constant flow of opiates and this is what causes all the problems when they're stopped.

It can take up to two years for the brain to re-adjust, which is a very long time to suffer PAWS!
The average is around 3-6 months.

This is just the physiological side of it, physchologically it manifests in 'using dreams' - vivid dreams where I run around scoring, cook up and usually I wake up just as I'm injecting...! It's pure torture!

One of the hardest things is to remain positive, it's all too easy to look back with rose tinted spectacles and forget all the bad stuff about having a habit, all the crap is easily forgotten when your craving... It's so easy to talk yourself into 'just one little hit'

I forget all the times I've spent hours, in tears trying to get a vein, sick, knowing that once the amount of blood vs heroin in the needle reaches a certain point it will clot and the drugs will be lost..
I forget all the hassle of trying to get cash, then waiting around for hours in freezing parks/bus stops or dodgy council estates for a 14 year old on a bike to drop the gear to you.
I forget about the damage I've done to my body from 14 years of injecting, I get pins and needles in my arms, I have no superficial veins in my arms and hands any more so I really feel the cold plus my hands look like boxing gloves!
I forget the pain using causes my loved ones, my long suffering partner who has somehow stayed with me throughout this relapse.

One thing I can say though is although I didn't get the spiritual awakening that a small amount of people that have used Ibogain get, I'm talking about the ones that take it once and never want to use again.
I have found that it is slowly helping me see things a bit more clearly.
It's subtle, when I think about my life now and the reasons I used things seem to make more sense, it's very difficult to describe!

Every year I was on it I would swear to myself that I wouldn't still be using on my next birthday, having a date to work towards helps.
The years are whooshing past faster and faster, I turn 31 in less than a week and have wasted more than half my life using heroin. It makes me sad to think about it but I also know I'm still young enough to do the things I want to do...

Con-Dem Drug Strategy For 2011

Now this is scary....

How on earth do they think people are going to detox just because they tell them too?


In my experience addicts are inherently anarchic.. plus the nature of addiction is that change has to come from the inside, a person will not clean up for family/friends/partners etc.. An addict will not change until they are ready, often not until reaching that cliche 'rock bottom'

Putting people onto enforced methadone detoxes is not going to work Mr Cameron... They will just end up using heroin again..!

'To prevent unplanned drift into long term maintenence' .. I quote

Good luck with that one...!

Day 7 - Post Ibogaine, The Experience!

Thought I'd write a little about the actual experience as I haven't yet!

I worked my dose out at the standard opiate addicted persons 15-20mg/kg dose, at 65ks that meant about 1600mg Ibogaine HCL, I took this plus 1000mg TA Extract the first time and it blew my head off and really took me a long time to recover after, so the second and third times I titrated the dose over 24 hours, this last time I took 600mg HCL initially then another 400mg TA about 6 hours later, both ways of dosing had the desired effect, I just didn't want the nausea and intense hallucinations.

My First time was the strongest, at the full 19mg/kg dose all at once. I did throw my guts up, projectile vomiting, but didn't really have any massive spiritual awakening. I did hallucinate, everything went green and purple and I was in the blitz being bombed by the nazi's!

I was quite upset I wasn't shown anything that could help me change my current behaviours, people say it takes some time afterwards for the bits to fall into place.
Also that war type, violent visions are quite a common theme.

Some people say they felt the ibogaine scrubbing them clean from the inside out, a lot of people meet with the plant spirit too.. unfortunately I didn't get that.
I'm quite a spiritual person so was hoping to have a full on psycho-spiritual experience, shame I didn't.

It's what seems to keep people clean in the long run, that and the occasional booster dose...

Ibogaine has been called an 'addiction interuptor' and that's exactly what it does, it will not keep a person clean long term unless there is a determination from that person. Maybe this is why it seems to work in better with people in they're thirties and over?

It breaks the cycle of addiction, takes away 95% of the acute withdrawal symptoms and PAWS but you also need to keep working at your recovery.

Counselling, therapy, yoga, exercise etc all help a great deal.

Physically, I'm feeling 'ok' still lethargic and suffering with restless legs/night sweats and insomnia but it's all bearable, knowing that I don't have to find cash and score every day makes up for it!

What's really amazing this time is I haven't gone into the chronic depression I did when I came off methadone, ibogaine re-sets dopamine/serotonin receptors to a certain degree. This is what causes PAWS, it can take up to a year for the brain to re-adjust to making it's own happy chemicals and not being flooded with opiates constantly..

It also gets harder the longer you are taking it, I know I struggled a lot more this time around than last time..
Three shots at iboga detox in the last eight weeks!

But I persevered because I knew, the first time I took it that this stuff actually works! It's just how you use it..
I made the mistake of thinking I wouldn't need boosters the first time and paid the price, going back into withdrawal after four days and having to relapse as I couldn't get more Ibo..

The 'trip' isn't scary at all, (mind you I've taken my fair share of hallucinogens in the past) It kind of makes you feel safe, but you know something powerful is going on! After about 6 hours the main vision part is over and you go into a kind of catatonic 'dream state' where you can move much, sleep or eat... This feels like it's never going to end and is quite hard to get through..

Weirdly, Ibo also seems to reset your senses too, food tastes strange, you can suddenly smell in stereo technicolour, and sunlight is so bright, taking a puff on a cigarette tastes like an ashtray full of water.!

My partner made me laugh today, he said 'so from where I'm sitting it seems like people coming off heroin are either crying, laughing uncontrollably or masturbating' ... haha .. sounds about right!

It's Here

I can't post pics as I'm on my phone. Well I'm gonna try using the email post option...

Got to get through the day without using so partner is here when I take it (to make sure I don't die or choke on my own vomit) :)

Got some root bark I can take if I start to feel really crappy. Which I'll total into the mg/kg so don't OD myself.

I wont be able to report hourly like Gleds suggested as you become ataxic and phobic to bright light. So won't be able to stare at bright screen. I'll report after though.

Till next time iboganaughts

Treatment Options For Opiate Addicts

Realising you are addicted to anything is difficult and traumatic, admitting it to others is even harder.

I remember when it first dawned on me that the flu like symptoms I was getting when not using heroin were actually withdrawal symptoms!

I dealt with it by burying my head in the sand and taking more heroin....

It took a while until I was ready to actually deal with the situation and start looking for help.

I initially went to my GP and was prescribed methadone, a long acting opiate that's regularly used in the UK for heroin addicts.

I was fairly naive I guess, and didn't understand just how powerful a drug methadone is, typically heroin has a half life of around 1.5-7 hours, averaging at around 4, which means an average addict having to use at least twice a day, often more.

Methadone is designed to have a 15-60 hour half life, but it averages 22 which builds up in the body the longer you take it. There is a lot of variation person to person though and I  like many others found I had to split the dose over the day or I would be withdrawing by night time, this is one of the inherent problems of the 'one size fits all' treatment of addicts.

It's a myth that it gets into your bones, but it does sit in fat cells.

Methadone is the gold standard in opiate addiction treatment, even though it only has a 4% success rate!

It's cheap, can be prescribed by GP's without a home office license and gives users a chance to get they're lives together.

Methadone can also prescribed in an injectable form although it's rare now.

Newer drugs used in maintenance are subutex/buprenorphine/temgesic.

Buprenorphine is a partial antagonist as well as agonist, meaning it binds to the opiate receptors but also has a partial blocking effect meaning users can't get high if they take heroin (although many claim you can, especially on low doses)

It also means if buprenorphine is taken shortly after heroin the user will suffer precipitated withdrawals, the blocking effect will also render any opiates useless for around 24 hours, so trying to take heroin to stop the withdrawals will have no effect!

Back in the 80s diamorphine (pharmaceutical heroin) was prescribed to a small amount of addicts (notably at the stapleford clinic) and up until the late 90's private doctors would still prescribe too.

These are classed as 'out patient' or community treatment options and are usually combined with regular counselling.

Rehab is probably the most successful way to treat heroin addicts at the moment, although many people would argue otherwise.

There are different types of rehab and they vary enormously in length of treatment and philosophy.

If your lucky enough to be able to afford private treatment you can go for a three month stay at a beautiful retreat type centre that offers alternative therapies along side detoxification and counselling.

For most people though rehab means being admitted to an NHS style, two week, quick detox.

They provide varying levels of aftercare with most offering post detox rehabilitation in a halfway house or similar. (If you can get funding)

Most centers, private or not adhere to the NA philosophy of 'finding and giving in to your higher power'

In my opinion this is where a lot of them fall down, I don't believe in god, and as much as NA says otherwise it is the christian version of god they want you to accept.

I was brought up catholic, in catholic schools and had it rammed down my throat most of my childhood, maybe this is why I have such a problem with it.

It also seems a bit cultish, especially as during a detox you are so vulnerable, it always felt like they were trying to convert me whilst I was down and open to anything that might take the pain away..

There is no magic bullet for opiate withdrawal unfortunately..

When you get to rehab you will be seen by the doctor and given a full medical examination, they will look at your drug use and if your on methadone will reduce your dose over a period of a few days usually, way too fast for such a long acting opiate, the half life that has built up over years of methadone abuse means it takes WEEKS to leave the body and even when it has long term addicts will most likely suffer post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS)

Some centers use drugs like clonidine/lofexidine a blood pressure medication that reduces physical withdrawal symptoms, it unfortunately also makes you feel like your walking around in a space suit!

The better places will offer benzodiazepines to help take the edge off and to help you sleep, most wont medicate anything that will make you feel better though and tend instead to try and treat the symptoms.

These include quinine for cramps and restless leg syndrome, anti-diorreah meds, deep heat for aching muscles, lavender oil to help sleep, paracetamol and that's about it.

Unfortunately the only thing that will ever really get you through a detox is willpower, and that's something that cant be forced.

Other treatments include places like detox 5, that basically put you to sleep for 5 days while they pump you with naltrexlone to push the opiates out (and it costs a bloody fortune for the pleasure).

In Thailand you can go and stay with monks that physically purge you, and of course there's always ibogaine...!

I'm slightly biased but after numerous different treatments the only thing that has ever worked for me, withdrawal wise is ibogaine.

You can always try it Trainspotting stylee!

If your lucky enough to be able to beg borrow or steal some comfort meds (IE benzo's) or if your more organized, some dihydrocodeine so you can taper down this is probably your best shot.

The most difficult bit is cutting contact with using mates and most difficult of all, deleting all your dealers numbers and changing your phone number!

Not many people succeed doing it this way, like the film you will more often than not end up ripping the planks off the door and running out to score!

Willpower dear Watson..

Ultimately changing behaviours and habits is key to recovery, replacing the day to day grind of grafting for money, scoring and using is the biggest challenge and takes a lot of work, this is where long term rehabilitation has it's benefits.

Here are some of the main rehabs in the UK:

These two I've had personal experience with;

Clouds House, is a six week residential detox and rehab centre, its in Salisbury and is where most people from the south of the UK will be sent, I went there three times altogether and never completed for one reason or another, they offer opiate detoxification with Clonidine and it's philosophy is based on the Narcotics Anonymous 'abstinence' model.

City Roads is based in London and specialises in 'crisis intervention'.

They will take you on short notice if your in urgent need of detoxification. Stays are usually two weeks and they will organise three to six month residential or 'halfway house' type when you leave.

I haven't been to these centers;

Narcanon is based in Lea-On-Sea, it has a good reputation but they don't use prescribed medication to aid withdrawal, alcoholics will receive IV vitamins and all patients benefit from alternative therapies.

I thought Narcanon was based on Narcotics Anonymous but after more research it's a front for the church of Scientology! (See below) Which begs the question why is it called Narcanon?

EDIT: After a comment posted on here informing me that Narcanon is a Scientology based rehab I am adding this info too....
I didn't realise this, and I'm pretty shocked actually.. if you know anything about Scientology, other than that Tom Cruise is a member, it's that they use somewhat questionable tactics to get people into they're 'programme'.. They have a habit of exploiting the most vulnerable members of society and indoctrinating them into what basically amounts to a cult.. the biggest cult in the world!
So they are basically using a rehab as a front to induct new members! That's shocking! And immoral..!
I leave is to you to make your mind up on this one, but it's not somewhere I'd want to go!
In fact, the more I think and write about this the more angry I'm getting....

Charis is a London based rehab facility that offer long term support by using supported housing units and dorms for people that have been through detox.

I know people that have been there and it is apparently very good, residents start off sharing dorms and by adhering to the programme of group therapy and counselling gradually work they're way up to sole occupancy flats. They specialise in long-term recovery and the waiting list is very long.

Hope House uses a 12-step integrated abstinence-based model using a holistic approach recognising emotional, physical, educational and recreational needs. The project is women-only with an all-female staff team. Second stage treatment facilitates the transition back into the community. Provides a safe space - community living and peer support. Life skills are gained through participation in the running of the house and in decision making about domestic and community matters, resettlement and housing advice. Attendance at self-help groups - AA, NA. Day and aftercare programmes are provided upon completion of the residential programme.

It is possible to be detoxified as in in-patient in an NHS hospital type setting but the waiting list is very long and they have a reputation of not being particularly good.

This is a great website listing UK rehabs

Dealing With Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome PAWS

Unfortunately PAWS is a major cause of relapse after opiate detoxification.

Heroin and opiates attach themselves to various brain receptors, serotonin, dopamine, mu/kappa etc

They interrupt and replace the brains natural production of these hormones which provides the lovely, warm, happy feeling you can only get from opiates.

This is where the length of abuse comes into play, someone with a short term (less than a year) habit will hardly suffer at all, the brain will quite quickly recover and start naturally producing the hormones again, usually within six months. Whereas a heavy long term users brain can take years to recover!

PAWS is long term, low grade withdrawals, sneezing, sweating and chills, restless legs, goosebumps, stomach cramps and general anxiety.

Because opiate withdrawal is in my opinion quite largely psychosomatic these low grade withdrawals can quite easily in your head be turned into unbearable pain... and knowing that a tiny bit of heroin will not only take it all away but also give that lovely warm feeling is sometimes too much to deal with!

Some OTC remedies and medications that can help with PAWS and  acute withdrawal symptoms include...

Quinine - For cramps and RLS
Imodium - Cramps and diorreah
Paracetamol/acetaminophen - For keeping temperature regulated and aches and pains



Herbal supplements that can help (especially when recovering from ibogaine) are...

High Dose Vitamin C - 1000mg Plus Daily
Vitamin D
Vitamin B complex
Omega 3-6-9 Complex  

Fish oils help the body repair the synapses in the bran damaged by opiate abuse, zinc will also aid cell renewal

Also:

St John's Wort for depression, although be aware there are some contra-inications with SSRI's
And Rhodelia Rosea is really good for fatigue and lethargy post detox/ibogaine

Valerian can aid sleep (better than benzo's where possible)

When I was really struggling with 'kicky' and achey legs I would walk up and down the stairs in my flat..
I would take a bath whenever it got unbearable, this often meant 5-6 hot baths a day! Adding Epsom Salts helps too!
After that I'd rub deep heat all over my legs and use a hot water bottle...

If you have an understanding friend that will massage your legs its orgasmic :)
I had an acupressure treatment on my feet in rehab once and it was bloody fantastic!

It's really all about nursing your body back to health, eating well, meaning plenty of green vegetables, nuts, pulses, fruit, oily fish etc...


As I've mentioned before, a small daily dose of Ibogaine is great for PAWS and cravings.. start with 600mg (root bark) and work up if more is required, it's best to take it in the morning as it can cause insomnia.
If your using TA or HCL use titrate the dose up from 200mg and 100mg respectively.
A lot of people grind it down and mix it with a chocolate milkshake or something similar every morning.

Other than medication, post ibogaine therapies that have been shown to be beneficial include, talking therapies, acupuncture, exercise and sex (always good for an endorphin release after opiate WD, plus exercise will help with RLS and cramps)

If you are really worried about relapsing then a Naltrexone implant could be a good idea, although quite expensive and only available privately, Naltrexone is a full opiate antagonist, it completely blocks any opiates ingested rendering the drug useless..

As mentioned above, counselling has been shown to be an important part of recovery and most people that achieve long term abstinence employ some kind of talking therapy.

Saying all this though, the daily battle with your brain and body screaming out for heroin is one of the hardest things anyone can go through, and anyone that does has my full respect.

Ibogaine can definately help,  the liver converts it into noribogaine whichis stored in fat cells and slowly releases, this in most people, stave's off cravings for up to six months!
So my best advice for PAWS would be to micro-dose with Iboga rootbark.
The trick is to find how much you can take before you notice any psychoactive effects.
For me this is around the 1000mg a day mark.
Get some gel caps and weigh (with mini scales) 300mg Iboga rootbark into each of them.
You need to always take any Iboga in the mornings as its a stimulant in low doses.
Start with 300mg (1cap) one day and titrate up by one more cap daily, until you reach a level where you can feel any psychoactive effect. This is your limit.
Usually between 600-1500mg first thing in the morning is enough.

You want to take enough to relieve any withdrawal symptoms but not trip or notice any stimulating effect.
For the large majority of people, rootbark will relieve PAWS almost completely or entirely.
It really is the best thing for it.
Rootbark in low doses isnt dangerous and has some really beneficial effects.
You can buy it ready powdered or as actual bark.
I buy the 20 gram sachets from Iboga World and it costs around £75-80 usually.
This is enough for about a month though.

Ignore any rumours of it being addictive or habit forming. Trust me, Iboga is not something you would want to take daily if you didn't need to. Iboga wouldn't let you get addicted to it!

A lot of ex-ibogainers still use weekly or monthly top up (boosters) of rootbark.
A common and effective dosing regieme seems to be: a quarter teaspoon weekly and a half teaspoon monthly.
You can also put the powder into a smoothie of you prefer.

People have said things like 'I've heard of people becoming dependant on bark' or 'I don't want to swap one thing for another and still depend on taking something every day' ....
Well, as far as I'm concerned, I'd much rather take some Iboga when I need to than be dependant on heroin or methadone!

I think Iboga is safer and better al round than an opiate addiction! 

One day at a time...

Cliche I know... sometimes it's minute by minute!

I haven't used for nearly a week though!

The hardest part, besides the constant PAWS, is filling the space left where the drugs used to be!
When your life has revolved around finding cash, scoring, using, every day for many years, when you stop your mind is still filled with using thoughts!

Heroin has a way of getting to you at every possible opportunity! Even when I get small bits of broken sleep I dream about it! Literally, scoring, cooking up and injecting, only to wake up and realise its just a dream! It's torture!

I have the added problem of having been an injector, I have a needle fixation, I part-time tattoo and body pierce and have always been into needles and anything medical.
When I was younger and more rebellious, piercing and tattooing myself was a constructive form of self harm for me.. when I was 16 I started to pierce myself and was covered within a few months!

I need more Ibogaine.. I've been advised to take a small daily dose for as long as I need it to keep the cravings and PAWS away.. I've ordered some and I should have it by the end of next week so it's just a waiting game now!


I need a distraction, I'm scared of exchanging one addiction for another. when I cleaned up a few years ago I developed a ketamine habit within 18 months..I was taking up to 4 grams a day by the end of it, I even went to rehab for it! Unfortunately there's not much you can do for a K head, in rehab they just dosed me up to the eyeballs with diazepam for the anxiety.. didn't work.

I ended up using heroin again, and stopped the K instantly...

Why is addiction so complex!? Why is there no magic bullet?!

Ibogaine is the nearest thing we have and I intend to use it as long as is takes to keep me safe.. my mother has actually offered to buy me some for a Christmas present!