My life's been manic for the past few months. I've been working loads and trying to hold everything together so this blogs been pushed to the back of my priorities.
I've been offered an opportunity for a low cost treatment with a proper provider if I take part in a follow up documentary to 'detox or die'.
It will be filmed by David Graham Scott, the guy that featured in the original BBC film.
I'm sick of being on maintenance. I'm getting too old for it all!
I worry that junkies don't usually get much older than me. We end up in prison or dead!
It's only an idea at the moment but I'm hopeful it will happen. And of course ill document it all here.
I'm hoping that going for a proper treatment with a provider as opposed to my half assed DIY attempts at home will make a difference.
Anyway... More soon,.. I have stinking flu and need to curl back up in bed and feel sorry for myself.
19 comments:
I know few people who did iboga only to find their paws very deliberating. I dont think it works in the long run, particularly if you have been on maintenance drugs for a while. Someone said the other day iboga messes you up as a person, something to do with the brain and what not..Hope it all goes well .
David Graham Scott is not a provider though. Thats what he told me.
I tried iboga myself and i still dont feel myself. I dont like 4 floods and several boosters to get off methadone. Am alright for about week but then withdrawals come and i get cravings. I take boosters but only last mee 4 or 5 days and plus they arent that strong. My conclusion is its not worth it, your better off having will power and being a real man to get off whatever you want to get off.
Well. I'm giving it another shit anyway. I've nothing to loose. It didn't work the last couple of times but it was DIY.
No Graham isn't a provider. He's just filming it. I think the provider is the one that filmed him originally though.
That was obviously meant to be *shot*!
And that was meant to say 'I think it's the provider that originally treated him' not filmed! :/
You referring to Edward Conn? he has stopped doing this, thats what he told me in a recent email.
I too went the Ibogaine way but bloody relapsed because of post acute symptoms. Becareful because it does damage your brain to some extent, this can be very unhelpful in the long run if you want to recover. Nothing helps unless you help yourself. I truly learned that. Only you yourself can beat your demons, thngs like Ibogaine, methadone, morphine, rapid detoxes etc do not work in my honest humble opinion. They are merely placebos. I wouldnt waste my money again on Ibogaine. The long term damage from Ibogaine is real.
The ibogaine leaves you depressed for years, it got rid of some of my perc wds but side affects are too on going, you actually get worse cravings, the low mood feeling is intence, i too dont believe its worth the $$$ and your life.
I think you have a great opportunity for success, and that you can document it is extraordinary!! Take this as a chance to inspire other addicts, and their parents! Hope keeps me going!
Be very careful with the ibigaine. I remember I did a TX last year but I wasnt feeling within in myself. I went the ibigaine path to get off methadone and then buprenorphine, we call it subutex here in the UK. What we dont realise is that our receptors need time getting use to reality and no opiates, but it will be a shock to our receptors if for 1 minute we have opiates and then next we dont, thats why so many people struggle with depression and PAWS after ibigaine. I suffered long and hard with PAWS and depression after my ibigaine TX, I even took root bark for about 3 months but never felt any progression. The small boosters are there for people who are clean for several months and years but tend to get cravings. Am not saying ibigaine aint worth it but it I dont think for that amount of money its benficial.I forked out nearly £2,000 for my tx and this included small boosters to take home. I was only ever on methadone for 2 years and then subutex for 1 year. I tend to concur with the above posters who say ibigaine is merely a placebo and if anything can do more damage then good, My brain never felt right after ibigaine, its a good reason why they dont legalize it in the UK.
Were you in that ibogaine documentary where they detoxed in Kings Cross ... or somewhere? There was a guy who had been "addicted to methadone for 20 years" that wasn't you though surely? You are too young. I do have the attn. span of a fruit fly so I probably missed all you said on the subject actually I would definitely have missed it being as I am minus a computer at the moment.... but anyway best of luck with it.
Wow. Will the documentary be on Channel 4?
To respond to the above...
I think the main problem with ibo detox is people having too high expectations. It's no magic bullet, but nor is any other form of detox.
Wether you go through a standard heroin cold turkey, methadone/sub taper or one of the rapid opiate type detoxes, things like PAWS and cravings are always going to be an issue!
Some of the previous comments just show a lack of understanding on the subject, making sweeping, generalised comments is plain silly.
Yes people that use ibogaine sometimes struggle with PAWS, I did! But you probably would if you had come straight off methadone or subutex!
Ibogaine is not a one time, take it and your no longer a junkie..
Physiologically, I can vouch 100% that it re-sets opiate and nicotine tolerance to zero, but the aftercare is as, if not more important, and that's where I went wrong each time.
Again, ibogaine or not, getting into therapy or some kind of aftercare programme is pretty much essential for long term abstinence.
Bashing Ibogaine because it didn't work for you is just stupid.
My stance on it is not one of 'ibogaine for everyone'
I wouldn't push it on people, it's a very personal choice and it's definately not for everyone!
Gledwood: No it wasn't me, but the follow up that I may take part in, is actually being filmed by the guy in the film, David Graham Scott.. He came off a large dose of methadone with ibogaine and is still clean today!
Not sure what channel it will be on yet, I think the first one was on BBC 2!
Hope your good mate?!
S
Well, I kicked cold turkey after a 10 month run with poppy tea, and two months later was still shitting, not eating, not moving from the couch, sweating, crying, screaming. Ibogaine completely freed me from the pain after two months. And it fixed my brain, rather than the reverse. I know dozens of people who would testify the same. In fact, I have met close to a hundred people who have taken ibogaine, and the folks here are the only ones I have ever heard of feeling like it damaged them. Frankly, it makes me think the same person is writing those replies. PAWS and depression? Why are you blaming ibogaine instead of the fucking poison you were ingesting for years? Try kicking methadone or suboxone without ibogaine and see how many months you are clinically insane.
"Iboga as placebo," that is likely the most hilarious thing I think anyone has ever said about iboga ... either that person got way under-dosed, or hasn't taken it. There are thousands of anecdotal reports from ex junkies who enthusiastically say otherwise, and, sorry, but even the scientific evidence is against you. Use google for and see for yourself.
Hi Gary, I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work on this blog. Over the past year or so, I've followed links here from Vox a couple of times and found myself impressed with your commitment and your style. You write with an unapologetic, yet humble, honesty- and like a familiar, friendly doorman, your words welcome others to step inside your world through the door you've created. I've just now subscribed, as I'm beginning to use Blogger more frequently, and truly look forward to reading more from you.
And by the way, above poster "Anonymous" is entirely correct- you're going to have to deal with PAWS any way you go at it, iboga/ine just makes it easier and strengthens the resolve. Also helps if you don't go directly from a long-acting opioid such as methadone or sub to ibogaine. Going on a bender prior to ibogaine treatment is also a very bad idea. As with any other detox, it is best to get yourself weaned as low as possible and wait as long as you can in between your last hit and ibo treatment. And above all (you said it, and it can't be stressed enough) aftercare is essential... Bottom line, yes, ibogaine does work, if you're ready to do some work of your own. :)
Do you get depressed when you have taken Ibogaine and been clean for couple of months? like the bit where people say when the Ibogaine metobilites wear down you start to feel mentally depressed. My concern is that part. I know it may take away withdrawals but am just worried come 2 or months later I may feel depressed. Afterall your brain will be getting use to reality and your receptors will not have Ibogaine forever so its inevitable depression will be part of Recovery I assume?
David Graham Scott did relapse on couple of occasions after Ibogaine, even today he uses something now and then. He told me depression is the reason he felt he relapsed on few occassions, thats what scares me too.
Thankyou Phersephonesbs! very kind of you to say so :)
Anon, Ibo definately helps with the post opiate depression, when I tapered off methadone I was near suicidal for about twelve months after, I actually still don't know how I got through it! I had to go on antidepressants for a while, after researching I came up with venlaflaxine (effexor) as the best option for ex opiate addicts, it seemd to take the edge off the depression and allowed me to get on with re-building my life without being constantly depressed.
If iboga helps with post acute withdrawals and depression then what happens when the iboga comes out of your system? or if you take antidepressants and taper off them? you will get depression then no?
I was told antipressants do not help with opiates related depression unless one has had depression issues prior to drugs and opiates. What about welltubutrin? does it help?
on the topic of iboga I see it does help some who have a heroin or so habbit but when it comes to methadone and bup people seem to struggle with paws and depression. Many people I believe are concerned with paws then acute withdrawals from bup, that am a wee concerned that iboga does not help, sure it gives you temporary respite while the iboga is in you but what happens several weeks to couple of months later? thats why most iboga users who want to quit meth and bup seem to relapse. On a forum I seen a guy say he did 5 floods to get off meth and suboxone yet still reverted or relapsed back to drugs, mostly methadone. I have to admit I cannot seem to find anybody who stayed clean when doing iboga to get off methadone and bup. Thats my worry too.
Dear Sid,
Greetings! My name is Chris Mallin writing from NY.
I came across your blog after doing a tremendous amount on Ibogaine. I don't say this as an attempt to flatter you, but it is truly astonishing the amount of information you compiled and gathered on Ibogaine.
I have been speaking to just about every major well-known expert or "authority" in the Ibogaine world over the last few weeks, but there is something you wrote which makes me extremely eager to chat with you. It will be a very brief chat, I promise, but it is so very important to me.
I assume you wouldn't want to give out your contact information publicly, so would it be possible for you to email me and we can chat that way?
My email address is cmallin20@gmail.com
I would really, really appreciate your time and guidance/help.
Thanks!
Chris
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